It Didn't Go How I Wanted and That's Ok...Here's Why.

We’ve all been there, right? You set your sights on something—whether it’s that dream job, relationship, or even just a simple day where things actually go according to plan. But then, as it often does, life throws a wrench into the gears, and everything goes sideways. Suddenly, you’re left standing in the aftermath, staring at the ruins of your perfectly laid plans, wondering, "Why me? Why now?"

It’s in these moments of confusion and frustration that we often find ourselves at a crossroads. The truth is, it’s easy to feel defeated when life doesn’t meet our expectations. But what if the real growth, the real wisdom, comes not from everything going right, but from everything going wrong?

The Universe as a Mirror

Let’s start with a big idea: what if life doesn’t happen to you, but rather for you? Think of the universe as a mirror—it reflects not just your actions but your intentions, your thoughts, your beliefs. When things go awry, it’s not a punishment; it’s a lesson. It’s the universe holding up a mirror, showing you something you need to see, something you might not have noticed otherwise.

Maybe it’s a lesson in patience. Maybe it’s a chance to let go of control (because, let’s be real, control is the ultimate illusion). Maybe it’s a nudge toward self-reflection, a subtle whisper from life that says, "Hey, you need this detour more than you know."

When things don’t go as planned, ask yourself: What is life trying to teach me here? You might just find that the roadblock in front of you isn’t actually a wall—it’s a door. You just didn’t expect to find it there.

The Myth of Control

Now, let’s talk about control—our favorite human obsession. We like to think that if we just plan well enough, work hard enough, and stay organized, we can control the outcomes in our lives. But here’s the kicker: control is an illusion. It’s like trying to hold sand in your hands—the tighter you squeeze, the more it slips away.

Philosophers from Stoics like Marcus Aurelius to modern thinkers like Viktor Frankl have echoed the same sentiment: you cannot control external events, only your response to them. "You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."

So, when life doesn’t go the way you wanted, it’s not about what’s happening outside of you—it’s about how you choose to respond inside. Do you resist and fight, or do you surrender and adapt? The truth is, real power lies in your ability to let go, to flow with the current instead of swimming against it.

Embrace the Unknown

Think about it: if everything in life went exactly the way you wanted, would there be any room for surprise, for discovery, for growth? The unknown, the unexpected—that’s where the magic happens. When you release your grip on how you think things should be, you create space for what could be.

This is where true potential lies. When life derails your plans, it often leads you to a path you never would have chosen for yourself—a path that’s richer, deeper, more aligned with who you’re becoming. It’s in the detours that we find ourselves, that we learn what we’re really made of.

Rumi said, "Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor." Imagine that. Every twist, every setback, every disappointment—it’s all working for you, not against you. The universe isn’t conspiring to break you; it’s conspiring to wake you.

Failure Is Not the End—It’s a Fork in the Road

When things don’t go as planned, we often view it as failure. But failure is only a matter of perspective. What if, instead of seeing failure as the end, we saw it as a fork in the road? One path is the one you originally envisioned, and the other is the one you never even considered—a path that might just lead you to something better, something more aligned with who you are becoming.

And here’s the thing about those forks in the road: they demand that we ask the tough questions. What am I holding onto that’s no longer serving me? What fears are keeping me from moving forward? These moments of failure force us to confront ourselves in ways that success never could.

Surrender and Trust

At the heart of this is a deep, often uncomfortable truth: we must learn to surrender. And no, surrender doesn’t mean giving up. It means letting go of the need to control every outcome. It means trusting that even when things go wrong, they’re still going right, in some cosmic, yet-to-be-understood way.

Surrender is an act of faith—not just in the universe, but in yourself. It’s the belief that no matter what happens, you have the strength, the resilience, and the wisdom to navigate it. And that’s the real gift when things don’t go how you wanted: the chance to prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you ever realized.

A New Kind of Freedom

In the end, when you let go of how things should be, you find a new kind of freedom—a freedom that comes from trusting life’s process, from knowing that the universe is always working on your behalf, even when you can’t see it.

And with that freedom comes peace. The peace of knowing that it’s OK if things didn’t go how you wanted. In fact, maybe they went exactly as they needed to.

So the next time life throws a curveball, take a moment. Breathe. Reflect. And remember that while things may not have gone the way you wanted, they’re going exactly the way they need to. And in that space of acceptance, you’ll find the lessons, the growth, and the beauty you never saw coming.

Because maybe—just maybe—the universe knows something you don’t.